How funny is it that we pretend or hide our feelings with men!

How many times have you said, or heard another woman say,

“Oh, I’m fine.”

“I’m good.”

But really, you know it’s not the truth.

Sometimes this pretending happens because we’re angry…

Sometimes it happens because we don’t like the attention on us…

Have you ever been on a date and a guy asks about you, and you just say one or two words…

and then ask him a bunch of questions?

We get taught women to stay quiet, to stay small, and to put the focus on the other person.

But on a date this comes off strange — he wants to get to know you! A good man doesn’t want to talk about himself the whole time.

When you’re with a man,

Do you find you get nervous and then deflect the attention and questions?

Or do you find you feel upset about something but don’t want to be seen as bitchy?

When a woman starts hiding how she feels and managing the conversation, then the man begins backing away.

This is the source of a lot of problems in dating and relationships…because without being authentic, there can’t be emotional intimacy…

And what I find is it doesn’t get better — once we start to build our walls, or focus on them instead of speaking up for ourselves, it gets harder and harder for them to come down.

Take the plunge and start opening up — it will draw a man closer to you and build the emotional intimacy you want.

Xoxo, Violet

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